Fundamentally, a non-molestation order protects the individual who made the application by preventing an abuser from using or threatening physical violence, intimidating, harassing, pestering, and communicating with their ex, or instructing, encouraging, or suggesting any other third party to do so. Although this type of order can also be made to protect children of the family, in most cases, it generally concerns an ex-spouse or partner.
If there is no prohibitive part of the order preventing a parent from having any direct contact with their children, then they can do so. However, the practicality of the situation is likely to make arrangements more complicated when a non-molestation protects the parent with care.
The core nature of a non-molestation order
Breaching a non-molestation order (NMO) is a criminal offence, which may lead to arrest, imprisonment for up to five years, fines, or being found in contempt of court.
Key provisions of an NMO may include:
- Prohibitions on direct or indirect contact, including via electronic communication
- Exclusion from the family home
- Restrictions around the children’s school or nursery
- Constraints on any contact with the children unless court-agreed or via legal representatives
So, whether you can see your child depends heavily on the specific wording and conditions of the NMO.
Can I still have contact with my child if there is a non-molestation order against me?
If there is an NMO in place protecting the parent with whom the child lives, then contact can become problematic to arrange and co-ordinate. Logistics become increasingly complex and may involve third parties who do not wish to have any contact with the individual themselves. This may be further complicated by the parents only being able to plan within the limitations imposed by the NMO. Again, this may be via third party intermediaries who are reluctant to be involved. A solicitor can also make representations on their client’s behalf and put forward suggestions for maintaining contact with the children.
If the NMO does not refer to arrangements for the children or negotiations between solicitors have not yielded satisfactory results, either party can apply for a child arrangements order to deal with the issue.
It is important to remember that non-molestation demands are strict and should be adhered to. If you wish to see your child, you must abide by the NMO and any other conditions imposed by it. If a breach occurs, then the individual can be arrested and taken to court. A fine can be handed down, and for serious or repeated breaches, a period of imprisonment.
Does an NMO automatically block child contact?
An NMO does not in and of itself ban access to your child (unless the order specifically says so)—but it can make informal contact effectively impossible. The order’s wording and scope matter greatly.
- If the NMO does not expressly prohibit contact with the children, contact may still be possible (though complicated).
- However, some NMOs may explicitly prohibit contact, either directly with the child or with the protected parent. For instance, a respondent may be barred from contacting the children except where agreed in writing or ordered by the court.
Practical barriers even if contact isn’t banned
Even where contact is not expressly prohibited, practical and procedural hurdles often make it extremely difficult:
- Coordination and logistics between separated parents are fraught when direct communication is restricted.
- The order may ban direct contact with the protected parent, meaning you must rely on third-party intermediaries to arrange handovers.
- Third parties (friends, family, contact centres) may be reluctant or have limited availability.
- Contact centres are not universally available; they often have waiting lists and fees.
- Even simple communication (via email or phone) may fall foul of the order unless carefully managed.
How can I arrange contact with my children when there is a non-molestation order in place?
Sometimes, these types of orders run alongside child arrangements proceedings which will address the issue of contact. Careful consideration must be given when drafting child arrangements orders to ensure they do not conflict with the terms of the non-molestation order, as it could cause an unintentional breach.
It is common for non-molestation orders to have restrictions on communication. So whilst someone may not be able to see their ex, they may also be prevented from contacting them via text or email, which will obviously be important in arranging contact. A solicitor can help negotiate a suitable pattern of contact and ensure the appropriate safeguards are in place to prevent a breach occurring.
If younger children are involved, this arguably further complicates the matter, especially if the protected partner is their main carer. Although not an insurmountable problem, it does factor in the use of third parties and their willingness or availability to help facilitate contact.
Third party help may include:
- Friend/family member acting as an intermediary between the parties to make arrangements for contact. Obviously, this method can be long-winded, and possibly open to miscommunication/misunderstandings.
- Friend/family member, taking the children to and collecting them from contact. The downside to this option, is that it depends on the availability of the third party.
- Contact/handovers at a contact centre or local authority centre. Here, the children can be dropped off first by the protected party and collected after the other party has left. If the other party’s contact does not have to be supervised, then they can use the contact centre as a handover point. The downside to this option is that contact centres tend to be run by charities, with not every area having one at their disposal. Where they do, the waiting list is extremely lengthy, and there are costs involved which vary between centres.
- A family member/friend of the respondent deals with handovers. Again, availability may be an issue.
How can I manage child contact when there is a non-molestation order in place?
Handovers should be arranged in such a way that removes, or at the very least, limits contact with the protected party. For example, can the children be collected from school, nursery, or another organisation? Can a friend or family member help with this?
Think about setting up an email account for communication. Care should be taken here, particularly if the non-molestation order prohibits any type of contact between the parties. Third party help may be required, although this is likely to complicate arrangements. Here, a communication book may be useful for exchanging information about the children, which will reduce the need for communication between the parties, and limit misunderstandings.
Both parties may find it helpful to keep a diary, or some other sort of record, about what happens and when. This could be useful in court as it will contain clear accounts of any incidents as and when they arise.
Communicating through the children should be avoided if possible as this will only lead to misunderstandings, drawing them unnecessarily into the centre of their parents conflict
Applying for a Child Arrangements Order (CAO)
If informal contact has become unworkable or has been blocked because of the NMO, the only safe and viable legal route is to make an application for a Child Arrangements Order under Section 8 of the Children Act 1989. This is essential for any lawful contact arrangement.
The court must not grant an interim contact order unless convinced, based on findings of fact or domestic abuse evidence, that the contact would not expose the child or the primary carer to unmanageable risk of harm. Even if abuse is established, contact may be ordered only if the court is satisfied that safety can be ensured—possibly through supervision or staged contact.
If direct contact is unsafe, the court must consider indirect contact (e.g. letter, call). In all decisions, the court must apply the welfare checklist to analyse the potential harm, motivations of parties, impact on the child’s emotional life, and risk level.
Where contact is permitted, the court may impose conditions to ensure safety:
- Supervised contact, with a third-party present
- Use of contact centres or neutral venues
- Controlled handovers—perhaps at school gates or via designated drop-off points
- Structured communication through solicitors only, or using communication books to avoid breaching the NMO through direct messaging
- Regular reviews of the contact arrangements timetable to monitor safety
Can a non-molestation order be contested?
Because non-molestation orders can be made “without notice”, an affected individual may not initially be aware of the application until they are served with the order. In cases where a non-molestation has been issued unfairly, it may be possible to defend its terms. Advice should be obtained as soon as possible after receiving the court documents because there is only a brief window between the granting of the without notice order and the next hearing.
During the life of a non-molestation order, including those made without notice, individuals must comply with its terms even if the order is being contested. Breaching a non-molestation order whilst contesting it will not only reflect badly on the individual concerned whilst building a case to defend its terms, but it is also a criminal offence.
Strategic considerations & best practice for respondents
If you have been served with an NMO, you should:
- Always review the exact NMO wording—know whether contact is permitted or forbidden, and in what form.
- Avoid direct communication with the protected parent unless explicitly allowed.
- Use formal legal channels: solicitors, MIAM, or the court—this reduces risk of breach.
- If contact is important, apply for a CAO as soon as you’re able, with a clear child-centred rationale.
- Be fully prepared for CAFCASS assessments—show respect for safety, positive parenting intent, and willingness to adhere to conditions.
- Think practically: arrange safe handovers, ideally via neutral venues or third parties.
- Keep records—logs of attempts, refusals, or difficulties can support your case.
If you’re navigating such a situation, seeking specialist legal advice is vital to ensure any move (even seeking contact) doesn’t inadvertently breach the NMO.