When parents separate, one of the most difficult challenges is working out how to raise their children while living apart, ideally cooperating and communicating about their child’s upbringing together. However, in some families, the level of conflict between parents makes this unrealistic. In those circumstances, a parallel parenting plan may be suggested as a practical alternative.

Parallel parenting is increasingly discussed by family mediators, solicitors, and courts when dealing with high-conflict separations. While it can be an effective way to minimise disputes, many parents are unsure about the legal status of such arrangements. This article explains what parallel parenting plans are, how they may be created, and the extent to which they can be enforced in family law.

What is a parallel parenting plan?

A parallel parenting plan is a structured arrangement used by separated parents who struggle to communicate or cooperate effectively. Instead of encouraging frequent interaction between parents, the approach allows each parent to operate largely independently during their own parenting time.

The key aim is to reduce direct contact and conflict between the parents while ensuring the child maintains a meaningful relationship with both of them.

A typical parallel parenting plan might include:

  • A clearly defined schedule for when the child spends time with each parent
  • Rules limiting communication to essential matters about the child
  • A designated method of communication, such as email or parenting apps
  • Clear boundaries about decision-making responsibilities
  • Detailed handover arrangements to avoid disputes

Unlike traditional co-parenting, where parents consult each other on most issues, parallel parenting allows each parent to make day-to-day decisions independently while the child is in their care.

This approach is often recommended in cases where:

  • Communication regularly breaks down
  • There is ongoing hostility between parents
  • Previous attempts at co-parenting have failed
  • Conflict is affecting the child’s wellbeing

Does it matter how the plan was created?

One of the most important factors in determining whether a parenting arrangement is legally binding is how the plan was created.

Parallel parenting arrangements can arise in several ways:

Informal agreements between parents: Many separated parents reach informal agreements about how they will manage parenting arrangements. If a parallel parenting plan is created informally between parents, even if it is written down, it is not legally binding. Such agreements rely on the goodwill of both parents to follow the arrangements. If one parent stops complying, the other parent cannot directly enforce the agreement through the courts. However, an informal plan can still be significant evidence of what arrangements the parents previously believed were in the child’s best interests.

Plans created through solicitors or mediation: Parallel parenting plans are also often developed with the help of:

  • Family solicitors
  • Mediators
  • Parenting coordinators
  • CAFCASS

Even when a solicitor helps draft the plan, it does not automatically become legally binding unless it is converted into a formal court order. Many parents choose to take a mediated agreement and ask the court to approve it as a consent order. Once approved by the court, the arrangement becomes legally enforceable.

Plans ordered by the court: In some cases, particularly where conflict between parents is significant, the family court may impose a structured parenting arrangement. A court order may include elements similar to a parallel parenting plan, such as:

  • Detailed parenting schedules
  • Specific handover arrangements
  • Limits on communication
  • Requirements for communication through a parenting app or third party

Once these arrangements are incorporated into a court order, they are legally binding, and failure to comply can result in enforcement action.

Can a parent reverse a parallel parenting plan?

Parents sometimes agree to a parallel parenting arrangement hoping it will reduce conflict, but later feel that it is not working. Whether the plan can be reversed depends on its legal status.

If the plan was agreed informally, either parent can propose changes at any time.

However, the other parent is not obliged to agree. If disagreements arise, the parents may need to:

  • Attempt mediation
  • Negotiate through solicitors
  • Apply to the family court for a formal order

In these situations, the court will focus on what arrangement best promotes the child’s welfare.

Where the arrangements are part of a child arrangements order, they cannot simply be changed by one parent. Instead, a parent who believes the order is no longer workable must apply to the court to vary the order.

The court will only change an existing order if it believes doing so is in the child’s best interests. Factors considered may include:

  • Whether the current arrangement is causing distress to the child
  • Practical difficulties with the schedule
  • Changes in a parent’s circumstances
  • Evidence that the plan is increasing conflict rather than reducing it

What happens if one parent does not follow the plan?

Non-compliance with parenting arrangements is a common issue after separation. The consequences depend on whether the plan is legally binding.

Breaching an informal plan

If a parallel parenting arrangement exists only as an informal agreement, a parent who does not follow it cannot be directly penalised by the court. However, persistent failure to honour agreed arrangements may have serious consequences later.

For example, if the dispute eventually reaches court, a judge may examine:

  • Whether one parent has consistently failed to cooperate
  • Whether they have undermined the child’s relationship with the other parent
  • Whether their behaviour has created unnecessary conflict

A parent who repeatedly ignores agreed arrangements may be viewed as less likely to support the child’s relationship with the other parent, which can influence the court’s decision.

Breaching a court order

If the parenting arrangement forms part of a child arrangements order, failing to follow it may be considered a breach of the order, and the other parent can apply to the court for enforcement.

Possible consequences include:

  • Enforcement orders requiring compliance
  • Compensation for financial losses caused by the breach (rare in practice)
  • Community service requirements (rare in practice)
  • In extreme cases, fines or imprisonment

The court will usually investigate whether there was a reasonable excuse for failing to comply before taking enforcement action.

What level of non-compliance warrants legal action?

Occasional disagreements or minor deviations from a parenting schedule rarely lead to immediate court action. Family courts generally expect parents to show a degree of flexibility where possible. However, legal intervention may become appropriate where there is:

  • Repeated failure to follow the agreed schedule
  • Refusal to allow the child to spend time with the other parent
  • Persistent lateness or missed handovers
  • Attempts to undermine the arrangement entirely

The court’s primary concern will always be the impact on the child, rather than punishing the parents.