For some couples, separation isn’t a single moment but a slow drift apart where lives diverge, homes are divided, and years can pass before anyone decides to make it formal. You may be surprised to learn that it is very common for people in England and Wales to live apart for five, ten or even twenty years before they finally take the legal step of divorce.
Sometimes the delay is practical, the cost of divorce, a wish to avoid conflict, or simply not seeing the point once both people have moved on. But when the decision is finally made, those years apart raise questions about how the court will approach finances, maintenance, property, and, in some cases, even whether both parties agree on when they actually separated.
Does the length of separation affect the division of assets?
It might seem obvious that after a long separation, what each person owns or earns separately should remain their own. Yet in family law, the timing and circumstances of separation can still influence how assets are divided.
The starting point is that all assets acquired during the marriage form part of the matrimonial pot to be divided. However, when a couple has been living separate lives for many years, the court will look carefully at what has happened since the split.
For example, if one spouse purchased a property years after the separation using their own income, it might be considered a non-matrimonial asset, especially if the other spouse made no contribution to it and the relationship had effectively ended long before. Similarly, pensions, savings, or investments accumulated well after separation can sometimes be ring-fenced, depending on the facts.
That said, the length of the marriage as a whole still matters. In a long marriage, the court tends to treat both parties’ financial contributions as equal, regardless of who earned more. A long separation doesn’t erase that history; it just provides context for what’s fair now.
When there’s a dispute about the date of separation
One surprisingly difficult issue can be agreeing when separation actually occurred. Some couples separate multiple times; perhaps they live apart for a while, then reconcile, then drift apart again.
This matters because the separation date can influence how finances are assessed. If one spouse claims they’ve been apart for fifteen years, but the other insists they reconciled on and off until recently, it complicates the picture.
The court will not rely purely on one person’s word and will look at more practical factors including:
- When the couple stopped living together as a couple (sharing meals, finances, or intimacy)
- Did they tell friends, family, or HMRC they were separated?
- Did they maintain any joint accounts or bills?
- Were there attempts at reconciliation, and if so, how serious were they?
A brief reunion doesn’t necessarily reset the clock, but it can blur the line. If a couple resumed living together and presented themselves as reconciled, that period could count as a continuation of the marriage.
In financial proceedings, judges often take a pragmatic approach and look at the reality of the couple’s lives, not just what was said on paper. Clear evidence, such as tenancy agreements, bank statements, or correspondence, can help establish when the relationship really ended.
Can spousal maintenance be claimed after many years apart?
This is one of the most frequent questions for couples who have been separated for years before divorcing. In theory, a spouse can still apply for spousal maintenance even after a long separation, provided the divorce hasn’t yet been finalised and no previous financial order exists. However, in practice, a lengthy period of financial independence often weakens such a claim.
If both parties have been managing their own finances for many years, the court may consider that they have each adjusted to their new circumstances. The principle of a clean break—where neither person remains financially tied to the other, carries significant weight in these situations.
However, there are exceptions. Suppose one spouse made career sacrifices decades ago to raise children, while the other built a substantial pension or business. If the less financially secure spouse still struggles, the court may award limited maintenance to ensure fairness, particularly after a very long marriage.
What if either spouse is in a new relationship?
By the time many long-separated couples reach divorce, one or both may have new partners, sometimes even new families. This can make financial negotiations delicate, and more complex.
A new relationship doesn’t automatically remove financial obligations from the former spouse, but it does affect how needs are assessed. Simply cohabiting with someone else can reduce, though does not automatically eliminate, the potential for maintenance, since their financial circumstances have changed.
When dividing assets, the court will generally focus on fairness at the time of divorce. If both spouses have built stable, independent lives with others, that independence will weigh heavily in favour of a clean break.
Can child or spousal support be back-dated after a long separation?
In most cases, back-dating spousal maintenance for a period before formal divorce proceedings began isn’t possible. The court can only make maintenance orders effective from the date the application is made or, in some cases, the date of the court order. So, if a spouse has been financially independent for many years, they generally can’t retrospectively claim maintenance for that period.
Child maintenance, however, is treated differently. The Child Maintenance Service (CMS) can calculate maintenance from the date a claim is made, not before. But if one parent has historically contributed less than agreed or informally stopped paying, there may be scope to address arrears depending on previous arrangements or court orders.
If a parent has supported a child informally (for example, through direct payments or paying for school expenses), the court or the CMS may take that into account when considering fairness.
Practical considerations before starting the divorce
For couples separating after many years apart, preparation is essential. It can be tempting to think that because life has already moved on, the legal process will be simple. But in reality, evidence and paperwork matter just as much, particularly when memories fade and documents are lost.
Key considerations include:
- Establishing the separation timeline:Gather any correspondence, tenancy agreements, or bank statements showing when the relationship ended in practice.
- Documenting current finances: Each party must provide full financial disclosure, even if they believe everything is already separate.
- Considering mediation:Long-separated couples often find mediation a constructive way to agree financial terms without reigniting old disputes.
- Thinking about pensions: Pensions accumulated before and after separation can still be relevant, particularly after long marriages.
Why is it worth formalising a long separation?
Remaining legally married, even when emotionally and practically separated, can cause complications later. For instance:
- A spouse may still have inheritance rights under intestacy if the other dies without a will
- Pension death benefits may still name an ex-partner as the beneficiary
- One spouse’s debts could still affect the other in certain situations
- Most importantly, without a final financial order, either spouse could make a future claim, even decades later
The case of Wyatt v Vince (2015) is often cited as a warning. The couple separated in the 1980s but didn’t finalise their financial arrangements until decades later, when Mr Vince had become wealthy. The Supreme Court allowed Ms Wyatt to bring a financial claim despite the long delay, illustrating how important it is to obtain a clean-break order, even after years apart.
The key takeaway is that length of separation matters, but it is not the whole story. The court’s aim remains the same: to achieve a fair outcome based on needs, contributions, and the realities of both parties’ lives now.