Whether a couple is separating, divorcing, resolving financial matters, or dealing with arrangements for children, emotions can run high and communication can sometimes become difficult. However, there is an important distinction between behaviour that is unpleasant, upsetting or frustrating and behaviour that crosses the line into harassment.

Harassment can affect the wellbeing of those involved, influence decisions concerning children, and in some cases lead to police involvement or court orders designed to protect victims from further misconduct.

What is harassment?

Harassment generally refers to behaviour that causes another person alarm, distress, fear, or significant upset. The law does not provide a simple list of actions that automatically amount to harassment; instead; the courts consider the overall pattern of behaviour and its effect on the victim. The conduct must generally be serious enough that a reasonable person would regard it as oppressive or unacceptable.

Harassment can occur between spouses, former partners, co-parents, family members, and other individuals connected to family proceedings. Importantly, behaviour does not have to involve physical violence to amount to harassment with many family law cases involving emotional, psychological or digital forms of harassment.

How harassment may arise during divorce proceedings

During divorce proceedings, harassment often arises where one party struggles to accept the breakdown of the relationship or seeks to gain control over the other person.

Examples include:

  • Repeated unwanted telephone calls, texts, or emails
  • Constant monitoring of a former partner’s movements
  • Turning up unexpectedly at home or work
  • Making repeated threats regarding finances or property
  • Posting abusive comments on social media
  • Sending intimidating messages through friends or family members
  • Deliberately interfering with employment or business activities
  • Repeatedly making false allegations to cause distress

For example, a separating spouse who sends dozens of messages every day demanding explanations about new relationships, finances or living arrangements may be engaging in harassment, particularly if they have been asked to stop. In addition, repeatedly attending a former partner’s home without invitation or following them in public may cross the line from concern or curiosity into unlawful conduct.

Harassment in children cases

Parents often need to maintain communication regarding school arrangements, medical appointments, holidays, and day-to-day care. As a result, the courts recognise that some contact is unavoidable. However, harassment can still arise within this context and may include:

  • Excessive messaging beyond what is necessary for parenting matters
  • Using child handovers as opportunities to intimidate or abuse the other parent
  • Making repeated threats about court proceedings
  • Recording conversations without justification
  • Involving children in adult disputes
  • Encouraging children to spy on or report on the other parent
  • Making persistent unfounded allegations to authorities
  • Using parenting apps or communication platforms to send abusive messages

The courts are particularly concerned where a parent’s behaviour affects a child’s emotional wellbeing. Harassment directed at a parent may indirectly harm the child if it creates anxiety, conflict, or instability.

What would not normally be considered harassment?

Not every disagreement or unpleasant interaction amounts to harassment; family breakdown often involves difficult conversations, frustration and occasional conflict. The law recognises that people may disagree strongly without engaging in unlawful behaviour.

Examples of conduct that would not normally amount to harassment include:

  • Making reasonable requests for information about children
  • Sending occasional messages concerning finances or parenting
  • Pursuing legitimate court proceedings
  • Disagreeing with proposals made during negotiations
  • Requesting compliance with court orders
  • Raising genuine concerns regarding a child’s welfare

For example, a parent sending a message to confirm collection arrangements for a child would not normally be harassing behaviour, even if the recipient finds the communication unwelcome. Likewise, beginning court proceedings to resolve a genuine dispute is not harassment simply because the other party dislikes the process. The distinction generally lies in the frequency, purpose, and overall context of the behaviour.

What evidence is needed to prove harassment?

Many allegations fail because there is insufficient evidence to demonstrate a pattern of behaviour. Useful evidence may include:

  • Messages and emails: Text messages, emails, WhatsApp conversations, and social media communications often provide some of the strongest evidence. Individuals should avoid deleting messages, even if they are upsetting.
  • Call records: Phone logs showing repeated calls may help establish a pattern of unwanted contact.
  • Screenshots: Screenshots of social media posts, online comments, or abusive messages can be valuable evidence.
  • Witness statements: Friends, relatives, neighbours or colleagues who have witnessed incidents may provide statements supporting the allegations.
  • Photographs and video footage: CCTV recordings, doorbell camera footage, and photographs may help demonstrate repeated visits or intimidating behaviour.
  • Police reports: Any reports made to the police can provide independent evidence that concerns were raised at the relevant time.
  • Personal records: A diary recording dates, times, and descriptions of incidents can be extremely helpful, particularly where behaviour occurs over an extended period. Contemporaneous notes are often regarded as more reliable than recollections made months later.

Legal remedies available

Several legal options may be available depending upon the circumstances, and include:

  • Non-molestation orders: A non-molestation order is one of the most common remedies in family law. It can prohibit a person from contacting the applicant; attending their home; threatening or intimidating them; publishing information about them; and encouraging others to harass them. Applications can often be made urgently where there is a risk of harm.
  • Occupation orders: Where the parties share a property, an occupation order may direct who can live in the home. In some cases, one person may be required to leave the property either temporarily or permanently until a decision is made regarding the property’s long-term future.
  • Injunctions under the Protection from Harassment Act: These orders can be tailored to the particular circumstances of the case and may include restrictions on communication, attendance at certain locations, or online conduct.
  • Child arrangements orders: Where harassment affects children, the court may make orders governing contact arrangements and communication between parents. These can reduce opportunities for conflict and protect children from ongoing disputes.

What happens if a court order is breached?

The penalties will depend on the nature of the order and the circumstances of the breach with possible consequences including arrest; criminal prosecution; fines; community orders; suspended sentences, and in severe cases, a term of imprisonment.

A breach of a non-molestation order is a criminal offence and can result in immediate police involvement. The courts take breaches particularly seriously where there is a history of domestic abuse or repeated misconduct.

Anyone experiencing harassment should preserve evidence, seek legal advice promptly, and consider whether police involvement is appropriate. Early action can often prevent matters escalating further and help ensure that family proceedings remain focused on resolving disputes safely and fairly.