When you are going through relationship breakdown, getting the right lawyer to support your unique set of circumstances who understands your goals is crucial. Disputes between a separating couple are often the most challenging to resolve and can leave a family fractured far beyond the making of final orders. But there are a variety of ways to resolve family matters, with most people wanting to find a solution without resorting to court proceedings.
Here, we discuss the various options for resolving family disputes and provide guidance on how to choose the best option for you.
Resolving family disputes
Resolving family disputes can follow several distinct routes, ranging from traditional court proceedings to more flexible and innovative forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR). The legal system has, in recent years, placed increasing emphasis on encouraging families to explore non-court routes before resorting to litigation, recognising both the emotional and financial costs that adversarial proceedings often bring. Understanding the variety of options available, and the contexts in which they may be most appropriate, is therefore essential.
Do-it-yourself Divorce/Dissolution
This is where you and your ex go through the divorce/dissolution process with little or no help from a solicitor. Whilst applying for a divorce or dissolution is relatively simple and requires little knowledge of the process, there can be problems. Most of these surround splitting the family assets and dealing with finances.
Working out your own financial agreement, whether or not you have professional support, can seem like the cheapest option. But it can be complex, and there are many things you will both need to consider. Not least ensuring any agreement you reach is set out in a formal document (Consent Order) which must be placed before the court for approval. In most cases, the consent order provides for a clean break and prevents any financial claims being made against each other in the future. Without this, there is potential for claims to be made even many years later.
It may be helpful to have at least one meeting with a family lawyer who can check your agreement. This will help you understand your rights and the effect of any decisions or agreements made. It will also make sure the agreement is legally binding.
Pay As You Go Divorce/Dissolution
At Major Family Law, we recognise that getting divorced or obtaining a dissolution can be costly. But being family centred solicitors, we understand the many financial pulls on your funds shouldn’t mean you are left without access to legal advice. To help with this, we have created Pay As You Go. You will have conduct of your own case and use our services as and when you need legal support.
We can help you across all aspects of family law including separation, divorce, finances, and children matters including:
- Advising you on the law and procedure
- Assist in drafting documents such as divorce and other court applications, and witness statements
- Advise you about representing yourself in court
- Represent you at court or help you obtain a barrister
- Advise on specific issues that arise during your case, such as expert reports or statements from your ex
Court can be a daunting place when you are unfamiliar with it. We can guide and reassure you and generally be there for you as and when you feel it is necessary. You are in absolute control.
Traditional Route (Lawyer, negotiation, court)
When people think of divorce, they typically see one spouse serving the other with divorce papers and then proceeding to court to deal with the finances. In the traditional option, your appointed solicitor focuses on your interests and negotiates with your ex’s legal representative. Outcomes often depend on what the lawyers evaluate would be the likely result of the court process. Many cases reach a satisfactory conclusion without going to court via solicitor negotiation. However, if an agreement cannot be reached, an application may need to be made.
Choosing the right solicitor who is committed to easing conflict and resolving matters in a way that preserves your relationship in the future is important, particularly if you have children. This is why our lawyers are members of Resolution and follow its Code of Practice, taking into account the needs of the whole family. We will do our utmost to help you reach a fair outcome as quickly and cost-effectively as possible.
Going to court
One of the most established routes is litigation through the family courts. When agreement cannot be reached, judges have the authority to impose binding decisions on issues such as financial division, and child arrangements. Court proceedings follow strict procedural rules designed to protect fairness and due process. For example, where there is a risk of harm to children, or serious concerns around domestic abuse, judicial oversight can provide vital safeguards.
However, the court process is often criticised for being lengthy, costly, and emotionally draining, particularly given the backlog of cases across England and Wales. Judges themselves have warned of the pressure this places on the system, reinforcing the message that families should consider alternative avenues first wherever possible. Importantly, the Family Procedure Rules require most applicants to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before issuing certain types of applications. A failure to engage with ADR at this preliminary stage may not only cause delays but can also influence how the court allocates costs later.
Family Mediation
Mediation provides separating couples with an opportunity to work together with the help of a neutral third party to reach agreements outside court proceedings. Unlike solicitors or collaborative lawyers, mediators do not offer legal advice and as a result are not required to be legally trained, although some are. Mediators facilitate open and constructive discussions and allow parties to identify common ground to encourage dispute resolution.
Mediation is particularly useful when couples are committed to finding amicable solutions and maintaining a positive post-divorce relationship. But there are also many other benefits, including cost effectiveness and flexibility; it is less formal and lets both parties take things at their own pace.
When agreements are reached, they can be formalised by a solicitor into a consent order, which ensures enforceability. Mediation is supported by government policy: the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, for example, has provided up to £500 per family towards mediation costs, significantly reducing barriers for those willing to engage. Reported success rates are strong, with many couples finding resolution in a matter of weeks rather than months.
Collaborative Law
The collaborative process offers an alternative to traditional litigation involving solicitors and court proceedings and mediation. The collaborative process is voluntary and encourages the parties to work together to reach a mutually beneficial agreement without resorting to the courts. Each party has their own collaboratively trained lawyer and makes a commitment to open communication and respectful negotiation which takes place over a series of meetings.
At Major Family Law, we have several fully trained collaborative lawyers who can guide you through the process in a non-adversarial environment. We always strive to find creative solutions to meet the needs of our clients that promote cooperation, reduces conflict, and support the wellbeing of any children involved.
Both parties must be willing, trusting, and respectful if the collaborative process is to work, with neither side having more control over the other. If these things are not present, then it may be necessary to follow the court route to resolve the dispute.
The distinctive feature of this model is that if the collaborative process fails, the lawyers involved cannot then represent the clients in court. This creates a powerful incentive to reach a constructive resolution and fosters a more open environment where participants are encouraged to be transparent. Although collaborative law is not suitable for every case—particularly those involving deep mistrust or allegations of abuse—it can be highly effective for couples who are committed to maintaining amicable relations, especially where children are involved.
Family arbitration
This method offers another distinct pathway. Unlike mediation, arbitration results in a binding decision made by the arbitrator, who is a qualified legal professional trained to hear evidence and issue a ruling. The process mirrors aspects of court but with greater flexibility and confidentiality. The parties can agree on the timetable, the issues to be determined, and even the identity of the arbitrator. Arbitration is particularly attractive where privacy is valued, or where there are complex financial matters requiring swift determination. It has gained ground among higher-net-worth individuals, but its scope extends to a wide range of family disputes. The courts have shown strong support for arbitration, routinely upholding arbitrators’ awards unless there are serious concerns about fairness.
Family conciliation
Conciliation also remains part of the ADR landscape. Like mediation, it involves a neutral third party facilitating communication, but conciliators may take a more active role in suggesting possible terms of settlement. Their recommendations are not binding, but the process can sometimes break deadlocks in a way that pure mediation cannot. Closely related to this are early neutral evaluations, where an experienced lawyer or retired judge gives an informal assessment of the merits of each side’s case. While this assessment does not carry binding force, it can provide a dose of reality that encourages settlement, particularly in disputes where one or both parties have unrealistic expectations about what a court would decide.
One couple, one lawyer
Another development in recent years is the “one couple, one lawyer” model. Here, a single lawyer acts for both parties jointly, providing neutral legal advice about likely court outcomes and assisting them in working towards a fair compromise. Unlike traditional representation, where each party has their own solicitor and often adopts a more adversarial stance, this approach focuses on efficiency and cooperation. Critics note that it may not be appropriate in cases where there is a significant imbalance of power or complex assets, but it is increasingly recognised as a legitimate and cost-effective option for many separating couples.
Expert determination represents a more specialised form of dispute resolution. In this process, the parties appoint an independent expert, often in financial or technical matters, to decide a specific issue such as the valuation of a business or property. The decision is generally binding if the parties have agreed in advance to accept it. This route can be extremely efficient in narrowing disputes to their technical core, allowing broader negotiations to proceed more smoothly.
All the methods set out above are recognised under the Family Procedure Rules as forms of non-court dispute resolution. The judiciary has repeatedly stressed that it should be considered before resorting to litigation. Courts are increasingly willing to examine whether a party has unreasonably refused mediation or other ADR, with cost consequences being one potential sanction. Policy trends reflect the broader desire to ease the burden on the family courts while improving outcomes for separating families. Government initiatives such as the mediation voucher scheme, as well as judicial decisions emphasising the importance of ADR, demonstrate this shift. At the same time, concerns remain about accessibility, particularly for those who cannot afford private ADR and are excluded from legal aid eligibility.
In practice, the appropriate route will depend heavily on the circumstances of each case. Where there is a history of domestic abuse or safeguarding concerns, court proceedings may be unavoidable. Where both parties are willing to communicate constructively, mediation or collaborative law can lead to quicker, less adversarial outcomes. Arbitration offers speed and finality when binding decisions are needed, while conciliation, early neutral evaluation, and expert determination provide flexible tools for narrowing disputes. The one couple one lawyer model further illustrates how the legal profession is adapting to demand for less adversarial, more pragmatic solutions.
Ultimately, family law now provides a wide spectrum of dispute resolution options, each with its own strengths and limitations. The trend is unmistakably toward encouraging families to resolve their differences outside of court where safe and appropriate. This not only reduces the strain on the judicial system but also promotes solutions that are better tailored to the needs of the families themselves. While litigation remains a vital safeguard and final arbiter, it is increasingly seen as the last resort, with non-court dispute resolution positioned as the first step in the journey toward settlement.