Our cable box records ‘suggestions’ and whilst it routinely fills up the 50 slots inappropriately, it also finds shows that intrigue.   As part of our deliberate viewing includes ‘First Dates’ in which hopefuls of all ages veer between enchanting and excruciating, it recorded ‘Naked Attraction’ a dating show where Anna Richardson presents the singleton with six naked persons.  Each datee is initially shown from the waist down and they are gradually eliminated as more is revealed to the dater.  When there are two, the dater also gets ‘nekkid’ before the choice is made.  At home, we often guess wrongly.

A little of the date (clothed) is shown and then they are interviewed. Such meat-market selection does not seem to be particularly successful: recently one candidate did not even turn up for the interview, much to the embarrassment of the dater.  I don’t recall such lack of cooperation on ‘First Dates’ or on the rare occasions we have seen ‘Take Me Out’.  I had not heard Paddy McGuinness announcing ‘Let the terrier see the rats!’ until after I saw on Facebook that a couple of friends of a friend had been on.   Baring your butt on TV is one thing (exhibitionism), but it seems only a fraction as humiliating as being on Paddy’s show: whilst the women may start with control of the button for ‘No likey, no lighty’ there is a whiff of desperation when the table is turned and the guy extinguishes the lights of hope, leaving one (relieved) datee to go on a trip to the eternal sunshine ‘Isle of Fernando’s’ (Puerto de la Cruz, actually).  Post-date, McGuinness could have added some vintage cheese with ‘Have you flown in from Paradise?’ to elicit ‘Nah – Luton Airport!’.  I heard that a lot when I went away to college – slightly less refined that my friend Julia’s ‘Surrey’ which used to get ‘I’ll repeat that for yer me duck’…

Whenever you hear ‘She’s a great gel…’ or ‘He was a real gentleman…’ you know there is going to be a ‘but’.   In the case of ‘Naked Attraction’ the difference is that you have seen the butt already.

Anyhow, trash-TV apart, whichever way people go about choosing a partner, it sometimes does not last forever. We family lawyers can sort out the legalities when it doesn’t.