Our Surrey Consultant, Lewis Hulatt, of Major Family Law, divorce and family law specialists, comments: Imagine Sam Allardyce belting out Gloria Gaynor’s hit at a players’ party. I admit that it is not a pretty sight. Resembling a hippo daddy-dancing, it would have considerably less pathos than Rafa Benitez performing Jimmy Ruffin’s “What becomes of the broken hearted?” Contrasting moods, but timing is everything.
When somebody realises that a relationship is going seriously wrong, the time to act on is upon them. Had NUFC been more decisive, the action they took in bringing in a lauded manager could realistically have preserved Premiership status and offered the opportunity to build on survival and improve, but left too late, Newcastle and the Premiership are now officially separated.
In football, each season is a known period of time, but even so, putting things right can be left too late – there are factors that can take things outside a club’s control. In relationships, one partner may have an unspoken deadline for the other to have ‘tried’ or circumstances may become such that taking remedial action is much more difficult.
Sometimes, to the other it is ‘too little, too late’ and they have given up.
I recall advising a couple who wanted to talk through a proposed financial settlement. As we went through the legal mechanisms and principles to be applied, the wife became very angry indeed and so with their agreement, I spoke to each separately for a few minutes. The wife was angry that the husband ‘just didn’t seem to care’, yet when I then spoke to the husband, he gave the impression of caring a great deal – through tears, he told me that he had been broken-hearted about the breakdown 18 months earlier, but that he had got used to the idea and now needed to sort out the practicalities. The wife hadn’t known of his earlier distress and by the time she realised that he had cared a great deal, all that was left was to sort out the practicalities in a cooperative way. Timing.
At MFL in addition to the solicitors being Resolution members and understanding what we do in context, we also have a consultant who is a relationship counsellor – Graeme Armstrong.
Maybe speaking to Graeme or somebody like him can make it ‘a stich in time’.
Timing is everything.